Signs of Love Read online

  "Hey, sweetie." He nuzzled the curls on top of her head and tried not to think about what was happening in her ears. "How was your day, Beth?"

  She didn't look upset as she led the way into the kitchen so Justin assumed Alana hadn't told her about their disastrous meeting.

  "It’s been fairly quiet," she said as she reached for a cucumber on the counter. "How about you?"

  Justin settled on a stool on the opposite side of the counter with Genevieve on his thigh. "It was a pretty lousy day since it rained. It made our outdoor training twice as hard and messy."

  "But it's important the trainees get to experience that too, right?"

  Justin nodded as he snatched a slice of cucumber and handed it to Genevieve. "Yep. But that doesn't mean I like it any better."

  Beth gave a snort. "Like you'd have it any other way. If it really bothered you, you would get someone else to do the training runs."

  "True." He watched as Beth dumped the cucumber into the salad bowl and moved on to a tomato. "Listen, Beth, I need to talk to you about something."

  She glanced up at him, a frown on her face. "What's wrong?"

  "I sort of did something that I realize now I shouldn't have."

  Beth rested her hands on the cutting board and looked at him. "What did you do?"

  Beat around the bush or straight to the point? "I asked someone to run a background check on Alana."

  His sister let out a sigh as a frustrated look crossed her face. "Why would you do that, Justin?" Then she shook her head. "Never mind. I already know the answer to that question."

  "There's more."

  "Oh my goodness, Justin." Beth thumped her hand that held the knife on the counter. "Do I even want to know?"

  "No, probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyway because otherwise you'll have questions when Alana gets here."

  "Does she know what you did?"

  "She suspects." When Beth didn't respond to that, he said, "We met Saturday afternoon so she could help me understand a bit more about everything regarding Genevieve's diagnosis."

  Beth tilted her head, her brows drawing together. "Yes, we discussed that she might be the best one to help you with that. I didn't know she'd made arrangements with you already."

  "Well, she did and we met, but I guess I asked one too many personal questions of her and she kind of bolted after giving me a brief rundown on her past."

  His sister's blue eyes widened. "She bolted? Did you frighten her?"

  Had she been scared? That wasn't exactly the feeling Justin had gotten, although perhaps there had been a little of that. "I think she was...mad."

  "Well, big surprise, Justin Robert Morrell. I would be mad too. Actually, I am mad. What is your problem?"

  Justin met Beth's gaze head on. "It's not a problem to want to keep my family safe."

  Beth's expression turned from anger to sadness. "But that's not your job anymore, Justin."

  Justin clenched his teeth and hoped it didn't show on his face how much that statement hurt. For seven years, they'd only had each other, and it had been his job to make sure she was safe. But then she'd married Daniel, and while Justin still only had her, she now had a husband. It was the second painful reminder in the past couple of weeks that he wasn't a part of their small family unit.

  "It might—might—have been different if Daniel didn't have the job he does. Do you think he doesn't know how to protect me and Genevieve? He might not be all muscles and guns like you are, but I have full confidence he could keep us both safe if it should come to that."

  Justin knew she was right, but he'd been her protector for seven years. Daniel had only held that role for three. Did she really think it was that easy to step aside? He had to admit she was right though. Daniel was more than capable of protecting Beth and Genevieve. He couldn't have picked a better husband for Beth.

  Before he could respond, the noise of the garage door going up reached them. Not wanting to continue this after Daniel showed up, Justin said, "You're right. As I said, I did something I shouldn't have. I realize that now. I just wanted you to know in case Alana says something."

  Beth stared at him for a moment before nodding. She laid down the knife and moved to greet Daniel as he walked into the house. As he watched his brother-in-law slide an arm around Beth and bend to kiss her, a totally foreign longing struck him. But even as Justin acknowledged what it was, he knew he needed to ignore it. There was no place for a wife and family in his life. His job was his life, and it would have to be enough.

  Daniel came to where Justin sat. "Good to see you again, man."

  "You too." Justin lifted Genevieve to relinquish her to Daniel.

  "How about you make yourself useful," Beth said, setting a stack of plates on the counter and scooting them toward him.

  With a nod, Justin picked up the plates and moved to the dining room table and began to set them out. Considering there were five plates, it was a pretty good indication that Alana and her son would be there for dinner too. He was headed back to the kitchen to get the silverware when the doorbell went.

  His gaze met Beth's as Daniel walked toward the front door with Genevieve in his arms. Alana would have known he was there are soon as she saw his truck parked on one side of the wide driveway. She'd still chosen to come in, but Justin had no idea how she'd act when she saw him. He wished she'd at least phoned or texted him so they could have gotten this straightened out before seeing each other again.

  He gathered the silverware into his hands and went back to the table, listening as Daniel greeted Alana.

  "Hi, Alana. C'mon in. High five, Caden!"

  Justin heard the slap of hands and then a happy squeal from Genevieve. The two kids were the first to appear in the open area between the dining and the living rooms. Caden held Genevieve's hand and his expression brightened when he saw Justin.

  The boy let go of Genevieve and then gave him what looked like a modified salute followed by another sign. When Alana stepped behind her son, Justin looked up at her hoping she'd help him out.

  "He said, Hi, Justin."

  Justin turned his gaze to Caden and said, "Hi, Caden," before looking back at Alana. "One of those signs was my name?"

  She nodded. "He came up with a sign for your name after he met you the first time."

  "What is the sign again?" Justin asked, somewhat relieved that they'd dived right into this which helped to alleviate some of the awkwardness between them.

  Alana laid her hand on Caden's shoulder. When he looked at her, she signed something to him. He nodded and then turned back to Justin. Smiling, the boy lifted one arm like he was making a muscle and then made a motion in front of it with his other hand.

  "He chose to make a muscle because you have..." Alana gestured to him. "You have muscles. Then the sign he makes in front of his arm is sign language for the letter J. Which is, of course, for Justin."

  "So you don't just spell out letters of a person's name?" Justin asked.

  "Sometimes. But sometimes a deaf person will use a characteristic of the person to give them a name sign. In this case, Caden chose what he saw as your most distinctive feature and put it together with the first letter of your name."

  "So if he makes that sign, he's talking about me?" Even though he'd hadn't been interested in sign language up to that point, Justin found himself being drawn in by the boy's initiative in giving him a sign for his name.

  "Yes."

  Justin glanced around to find Daniel and Beth had joined them. "So what are Daniel, Beth and Genevieve's name signs?"

  "He hasn't really given them a sign yet. For the most part, he just spells their names. Although he has shortened Genevieve's to just Geni."

  "And what about you?" Justin asked.

  "His sign for me is the one for mommy." Alana did a motion with her hand as she looked down at Caden. He smiled up at her and repeated the sign. Then after a look in Justin's direction, he signed more to his mother.

  Alana lifted her head and met Justin's ga
ze. "He wants to know if you like the name sign he chose for you."

  Caden's eyes were wide, his expression expectant as he stared at Justin. With the exception of Genevieve, Justin hadn't really spent much time around kids, but he could see how important this was to Alana's son, so he smiled and nodded at the boy. Immediately, a huge grin lifted the corners of Caden's mouth and his green eyes lit up. Something flipped inside Justin as he watched the boy's reaction to his response. Knowing what he did now about Alana's ex, Caden's father, he couldn't help but view the young boy in a somewhat different light.

  He looked up at Alana and their gazes met. He saw apprehension on her face but didn't know what might have caused it. Hadn't she wanted him to say he liked what Caden had given him as a sign for his name? His interactions with the woman all seemed to end up in a minefield of sorts. Okay, so their meeting on Saturday had been a minefield he'd set up himself, but now...he had no idea what he'd just done to put that expression on her face.

  And if he was honest with himself, he didn't like to think about causing this woman any more distress than he already had.

  "Justin, why don't you finish up the table while I get the food," Beth suggested, interrupting the heavy silence that had descended on them. "And tonight, Alana, how about you teach us some more sign language while we eat?"

  Without waiting to hear Alana's response, Justin turned back to the table and began to put the silverware into place. Dan brought over the glasses and soon the food followed. By the time they were ready to sit down, whatever had been bothering Alana seemed to have faded away as she spoke with Beth and Daniel.

  Justin watched as Alana finished pouring water into the glasses on the table. Again she wore a long loose skirt and a blouse with sleeves that ended at her wrists. Now that he knew what the sleeves hid, Justin wondered about other scars her body might bear. Anger burned inside him against the man who could do something like that to a woman. He glanced at Caden and felt a little sick at the idea that the boy might have scars of his own.

  While he had no problem dealing out a beating himself when needed, it would never be against a woman or child. And any beatings he did give were always against valid targets. Ones who had as much chance of winning their battle as he did. And right then he knew if he ever came across Alana's ex, he would be more than happy to beat on the man.

  As the meal progressed, Alana and Caden showed them a few signs. Beth and Daniel were quick to repeat the signs. Justin, however, just watched. He hadn't wanted to learn sign language because he'd seen it as accepting Genevieve's diagnosis as final. However, watching them sign to each other, he realized there were still people besides his niece—people like Caden—with whom he'd be able to communicate if he learned along with Beth and Dan.

  "Justin, Caden wants to know if you will learn sign language too." Alana's voice drew him from his thoughts. "He'd like to be able to talk to you."

  Justin looked at the boy and once again he saw that expression on his face. More used to people getting out of his way—well, except for the women who thought snagging a military man, even an ex-military man, was a good thing—Justin found Caden's fascination with him a bit perplexing. This kid was determined to interact with him and seemed to view him with a serious case of hero worship.

  When he glanced back at Alana, he saw an almost pleading look on her face. "I'll think about it. I'm not sure I'll be much good though. Not as good as he is, that's for sure."

  "He's had a lot of years to learn," Alana said, the tension on her face easing.

  "You should at least try, Justin," Beth said as she placed more chunks of cut-up chicken on Genevieve's tray.

  "We're actually starting off with fairly basic stuff," Alana said. "Being that Genevieve is still so young, we're learning the signs that relate to what she most likely would be able to communicate if she were a hearing child. Hi. Bye. Hungry. More. Mommy. Daddy. Things like that."

  Justin knew that if he hoped to have any type of relationship with his niece in the years ahead, he would need to learn the language she used to communicate. Over the weekend, he'd had time to think over the whole situation. Not just about what had transpired with Alana, but also what was happening to Genevieve. He'd realized he needed to disconnect what had happened to their family in the past from what was currently going on with Genevieve. Though her hearing loss would definitely change the way her future might play out, she was still healthy. She was alive. She deserved to have the people in her life support her.

  And none of this had taken God by surprise. But what could possibly be His plan for something like that? Justin wanted so badly to understand. That's always what it came down to for him. Needing to understand.

  "I will try to learn as best I can," Justin said. "Languages have never really been my thing."

  "Oh, Justin, thank you." Beth scooted out of her chair and came to hug him before Justin could even blink. "I knew you'd come around."

  "You and I can practice together," Daniel said with a grin. "Languages aren't really my thing either."

  He glanced at Alana, but her face was expressionless. He wondered if she'd been hoping he'd refuse to learn. Something told him this was the second time she'd underestimated him. Of course, he'd underestimated her as well. Though she gave off an air of vulnerability and, at times, fearfulness, Justin was beginning to see that she had strength underneath it all. It would have taken strength to leave an abusive situation and build a new life. From all appearances, she'd done a good job. Caden seemed to be a fairly well-adjusted child, all things considered.

  The boy's only failing appeared be in choosing Justin as a person to be admired.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Alana was thankful for all the years of practice she had at managing her facial expressions. She'd learned to smile and be social even when every inch of her body pulsed with pain. It had taken her awhile to figure out that Craig had wanted a certain reaction from her. At first, she'd tried to keep from crying—tried to present him with a strong front—but that had only seemed to infuriate him even more. He usually stopped when she was a crumpled weeping ball on the floor. And once she realized that was what he wanted, she made sure to get to that point as soon as she could without raising his suspicions that she was manipulating him.

  Unfortunately, she had a hard time reading Justin, which made her a little uneasy. Twice now she'd figured him wrong. That was bad enough, but it was Caden's reaction to him that had her more concerned. She had no idea what exactly it was that had drawn him to Justin, but she had a feeling it had something to do with all the muscles, guns and macho-ness that made up Justin Morrell. Of course, added to that was the fact that Justin actually paid attention to him which no doubt made him rate pretty high in Caden's opinion.

  Unfortunately, Caden wasn't the only one who was drawn to the man. Even though their own interactions had been a bit rocky, seeing how Justin was with Caden offset that for Alana. The way he'd looked right at Caden when replying—even though she had to translate—meant a lot to her.

  So often people would look at her when answering since they knew she'd have to sign it for Caden. But Justin had looked right at her son and answered his question. The first time he'd done it, she'd wanted to thank him, and when he'd done it the second time she'd just about hugged him. He'd shown respect for Caden and that meant the world to her. It was almost enough to make her forgive him for what had happened on Saturday.

  "Why don't we get this cleared up, and we can have a lesson while we eat dessert," Beth suggested.

  Alana signed for Caden to help collect the plates. She could tell that he didn't want to but as soon as Justin stood up and started to help, Caden's reluctance disappeared. He moved around the table stacking the plates, his gaze on Justin. When the table had been cleared, Justin turned to Caden and held out his fist, knuckles up. With a wide grin, Caden made a fist and bumped it against Justin's. The man might not know sign language, but he definitely knew how to communicate with her son.

  Dessert wa
s an assortment of homemade cookies and brownies. Thrilled to be able to indulge her sweet tooth, Alana ate more than she probably should have, but they were just that good. Partway through, Genevieve began to get restless so when Beth took her out of the high chair, Alana asked Caden to go play with her for a bit.

  She felt Justin's gaze on her as she went through a few signs. Beth and Daniel were quick to imitate her motions, but Justin just watched. His dark blue eyes tracked her every movement, but his face didn't give away what was going on in his mind.

  "C'mon, Justin," Beth said. "You need to practice the signs or you won't remember them."

  His gaze flicked to Beth before looking back at Alana. "I'll remember them."

  Alana shifted on the padded cushion of the chair she sat on, her hands in her lap. It was one thing for him to watch her while she was showing them signs but quite another when she wasn't doing anything. She could feel warmth spreading across her skin as she wondered what he saw when he looked at her.

  It had been a long time since she'd really made much of an effort with her appearance. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a haircut. The mass of curls nearly reached her waist if she left it down—which she rarely did. There had been no money in the budget for makeup and the lotions she'd once used, so she'd settled for a very basic skincare routine and left off the makeup.

  Up until this point, she hadn't cared what people—men in particular—thought of her appearance. And she needed to keep that mindset. Wondering what Justin might think of how she looked was heading down a dangerous road. One that would, no doubt, lead to hurt. Even if she didn't have the past she had, Justin didn't strike her as the type of man interested in marriage and a family of his own. And she wasn't the type to get involved with a man just because he was attractive.

  Because, man, if she didn't find Justin just a teeny, tiny bit attractive.