For the Love of Grace: A Christian Romance (The Callaghans & McFaddens Book 2) Read online

  “How was your week?” Bennett asked, hoping a change of subject would help.

  Ellie stared at him for a moment before answering. “It was fine. Work was busy, as usual. How was your week?”

  As he shared about his week. Bennett was careful to avoid any mention of Grace. Thankfully, it wasn’t difficult since they hadn’t interacted much. Unfortunately, the start of their conversation had added a tension that just didn’t seem to dissipate even with the change of subject.

  By the time the evening was over, Bennett knew that their relationship was over too. It made him sad, but if Ellie saw things that weren’t there and then allowed that to make her jealous, he just couldn’t deal with it.

  He walked her to the door of her house but declined the invitation to come in for coffee. No doubt she’d read something into that too, even though he had never been comfortable going into her house when it was just the two of them. He didn’t break up with her right then—even though maybe he should have—but he knew he would have to do it sooner rather than later.

  Grace stared at the shower curtain. The flower pattern was not as appealing to her as it had been when Franklin had bought it several months ago. Of course, right then, nothing was all that appealing. Throwing up her guts didn’t make anything appealing to her, but she’d had another crying jag which had left her doing just that. She’d always had a weak stomach, but the way she’d been throwing up lately was ridiculous.

  She sighed as she leaned back against the wall. Her stomach was still rumbling enough that she wasn’t confident that she could leave the bathroom without having to make a rapid return. She took small sips from the glass she’d filled with water. Her heart hurt, and her insides were in knots. She was a mess.

  Would she ever feel normal again? Would the tension in her head ever ease? Would the ache in her heart fade away? Would she ever feel comfortable in her body again?

  Her stomach clenched, then threatened to reject the little bit of water she’d just put into it. She took deep breaths, trying to calm the upset within her. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for days, but that couldn’t happen until her stomach calmed down.

  The flowers on the shower curtain suddenly dragged up a memory of the flowers at Franklin’s funeral. Tears pricked at her eyes as she swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. She couldn’t believe that she still had tears left to cry. It felt as if she’d shed so many that there should be none left.

  Grace reached out and grabbed a towel to wipe away the tears that spilled down her cheeks. At least her breakdown was happening in the privacy of her home and not at work. There had been a few moments when she’d thought that maybe she would have a meltdown at work, but she’d managed to hold it together. She hadn’t wanted anyone telling her that maybe she was back to work too soon. She needed to leave the condo. Needed to leave the place that held the most memories of Franklin for at least a few hours each day.

  After about ten minutes, Grace figured it was safe to leave the bathroom. Moving slowly, she walked into the bedroom and to the bed where she climbed under the covers, tugging them up to her chin. She’d already locked up the condo since she’d known she wasn’t planning to go out after she’d gotten home from work. Sleep was the only thing she wanted. Maybe tomorrow she’d try to eat food—after she went and bought some.

  The dreams came as they did every night it seemed. Dreams of what might have been. Without fail, she woke to tears and an aching heart. How much longer would that go on?

  Grace flopped over onto her back and stared up at the dark ceiling. At that moment, sadness warred with anger for uppermost position in her emotions. If only she’d stuck with her plan. If only Franklin hadn’t changed. Maybe things wouldn’t have ended up the way they had. At the very least, she wouldn’t be hurting so badly.

  She’d known the type of man Franklin was when they’d started dating. When he’d first asked her out, she hadn’t been interested. But once she’d realized that he wasn’t any more interested in a love-based relationship than she was, Grace had said yes. None of her friends had understood what she saw in him even though he was handsome and rich, and she hadn’t bothered to try to explain it because she knew people would think she was nuts.

  And maybe she was. What woman in her right mind would accept that, instead of a loving husband, she had one that flirted with other women?

  She probably shouldn’t even have married Franklin, but agreeing to marry him had helped her to stop thinking about what might have been. In many ways, Franklin’s reasons for marrying had mirrored her own. Their pasts had both played a huge role in their willingness to embark on a marriage without loving each other. Though she hadn’t wanted to admit it at the time, Grace had come to realize that she’d married a man she hadn’t loved to keep her from thinking about the one she could have loved. Maybe she had been a little crazy when she’d made her decision shortly after the death of her grandmother to not love again, but she had needed to do that to keep from losing her mind.

  And it had been going fine until things had changed with Franklin. Earlier in the year, he’d begun to listen to the men around him—especially Ethan—who had admonished him on the way he’d behaved around other women and how he treated her. At some point, Franklin had started to take the men’s words to heart and began to change. He’d started to attend a Bible study with Bennett and Ethan along with some other men.

  And as the changes had unfolded in Franklin, Grace had started to love her husband in a way she had never thought she would. And then, just like she’d feared, he was taken from her. She had known it would happen. Just known it. Which was why she hadn’t wanted to love Franklin.

  But she hadn’t been able to stop herself from falling for Franklin when he began to change into a man who sought after God and wanted to be the husband he knew Grace deserved. The whole journey had been something Grace had never envisioned embarking on. But she had…and now she was dealing with heart-wrenching pain because of it.

  When her cell phone rang, Grace debated ignoring it, but the ring tone was the one she’d assigned to Makayla. If she didn’t answer, no doubt her doorbell would be ringing in short order. And right then, she’d rather talk to Makayla over the phone than in person.

  She rolled to the side of the bed and picked her phone up off the nightstand. After tapping the screen to accept the call, she put it on speakerphone then set it on the pillow beside her.

  “How are you doing?” Makayla asked after Grace answered the call. “For real.”

  “I’m surviving,” Grace said as she rubbed a hand over her eyes. At least what she’d told Makayla was basically true. She was surviving.

  “How was it being back to work? Was it too much for you?”

  “Not at all. I’m glad for the distraction. It felt good to get back into the job. I needed it.” And that was no word of a lie. “Getting out of the house was good for me.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. I didn’t want you to feel pressured to come back too soon.”

  “No one was pressuring me,” Grace assured her. “I did it for myself.”

  There was a beat of silence before Makayla spoke again. “I want to run something by you. Give you an option to consider when you’re ready.”

  Grace frowned at the uncharacteristically hesitant tone of Makayla’s voice. “What are you talking about?”

  “I just wanted to let you know that if you wanted to, you are welcome to move back into the apartment with Tami and me. We didn’t do anything to your bedroom that we can’t undo.”

  Grace lay there for a moment considering the offer. “I’m not sure I’m interested in moving just yet. I think I read somewhere that I shouldn’t make a major decision like a move while my loss is still so fresh.”

  “I understand that. I just wanted to give you the option if you should ever need it.” Makayla paused. “I just really want you close by, so I guess this offer is kind of selfish.”

  Grace couldn’t help but smile. It was exac
tly something that Makayla would want. Though Grace did like the idea of having her friends closer, she didn’t think she was ready to leave the home she’d shared with Franklin just yet. Even though she left the condo for work to escape the memories, she wasn’t sure that she could handle going home to a place where there were other people. She needed a break from everyone at the end of the day. That way she could grieve in whatever way she needed.

  “Thank you for the offer, and I’ll keep it in mind. Even if it’s just for a night, I might take you up on it.”

  “Well, you know the address if you ever need a place to crash.”

  “How are the wedding plans going?” Grace asked, eager to change the subject.

  There was a pause then Makayla spoke, hesitancy—again—clear in her tone. “I really haven’t had too much time to work on stuff.”

  Grace had a sudden thought. “Are you concerned about talking to me about your wedding plans?” When Makayla didn’t reply right away, Grace said, “Seriously, Makayla, don’t worry about that. I want to hear about what you’re planning.”

  “So you’re still up for being my matron of honor?”

  “Of course I am.” Grace had always assumed she’d play that role in Makayla’s wedding. Or was she just a maid of honor now since she wasn’t technically married anymore? “I would be angry with you if you didn’t have me in your wedding party. We all had a deal.”

  “Yes, we did,” Makayla agreed. “We’ll have to go look for dresses soon. Ethan doesn’t want a long engagement.”

  “I agree with him,” Grace said. She loved both Makayla and Ethan and was happy for them. But now she knew better than most people that life was too short to waste on planning a wedding when the most important part was their life together after the ceremony.

  “I’ll tell him that,” Makayla said with a laugh. “He’s been recruiting people to his side for an early wedding date.”

  “You don’t want that too?” Grace asked.

  “Actually, I do, but I like to see him pleading his case to everyone.” Makayla laughed, and Grace smiled. It felt almost foreign to use those muscles, and yet it was a relief to know that she could still smile.

  For the next little while, Grace found herself transported to a different time. A time before her world had fallen apart. She’d had many a conversation on the phone with Makayla while laying in this bed. For those few minutes, she felt normal.

  When the conversation ended, she lay there, waiting for Franklin to come into the room and ask what they’d been talking about. Then she remembered that couldn’t happen, and her stomach clenched. Clutching the phone in her hand, Grace curled onto her side and let the hot tears slip down her cheeks.

  3

  The opening of the front door drew Grace’s attention from the email she was composing. Bennett walked in, briefcase in hand, his dark brown hair ruffled from the windy day. He wore a dark gray suit with a paisley tie in shades of greens and blues, and he looked every bit his role of CEO of the company. His gaze met hers as he approached the desk with a smile.

  “Good morning, Grace,” he said as he ran a hand through his hair, returning it to its normal style. “How are you doing today?”

  “I’m doing pretty good.” There was no way she was going to go into detail about her emotional state with Bennett McFadden. The man had a tendency to try to fix things. She did not need that in her life right now. And for the most part, what she had said was true. She was doing as well as could be expected considering her circumstances. Once upon a time, she might have divulged more information to Bennett, but not now.

  “I’m glad to hear it.” While his words might have sounded like he accepted her response, his expression said otherwise. “I’m going to be on a video call for the next little while. Can you send my calls to my voicemail or take a message, please?”

  “Will do,” Grace said with a nod, grateful that he wasn’t going to press for more details.

  With one last smile, Bennett headed down the hallway to his office. Grace watched him go, then turned her attention back to her monitor. Her stomach suddenly clenched, and for a moment, she wondered if she was going to have to make a rapid dash to the bathroom. This was the first time the nausea had hit her without it being related to a crying jag.

  She blew out a few breaths, trying to keep the swell of nausea from overwhelming her. The last thing she wanted was to be sick there at the office.

  “Are you okay, Gracie?” Makayla’s voice broke through her thoughts.

  Grace looked up to find Makayla standing across the desk from her. Fighting the nausea, she continued to inhale and exhale.

  “Gracie?” Makayla walked around the desk and came to her side, resting her hand on Grace’s shoulder as she dropped down on her knees beside her. “What’s going on?”

  “Not sure. I feel like I’m going to be sick.” Gracie swallowed and picked up her water bottle to take a small sip.

  “Has this happened before?” Makayla asked, her eyes wide. “You’re really pale.”

  “I’ve been sick before, but usually it’s when I get upset. After I’ve been crying.”

  Makayla looked around. “Did something upset you?”

  Gracie shook her head. “It just kind of crept up on me.” She pressed a hand to her stomach. “I think I just need to go to the bathroom for a few minutes.”

  Her friend straightened and helped Grace to her feet. “Can I get you something to drink? Ginger ale? Some tea?”

  “I think I’ll be okay.” Grace picked up her water bottle. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

  Makayla let her go, and Grace was relieved to reach the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Just in time, she reached the toilet and emptied her stomach. Once there was nothing left to throw up, Grace leaned back against the wall. She closed her eyes and let out a long breath. After taking a sip of water, she swished it in her mouth and spat it out.

  She waited for several minutes, wondering if she dared leave the bathroom. It seemed strange how the nausea came on so suddenly. And apparently, it was leaving the same way. When her stomach seemed to have settled, Grace washed her hands and left the bathroom.

  Makayla was seated in her chair, looking at her phone. She lifted her head as Grace approached.

  “Feeling better?” she asked as she got to her feet.

  Grace nodded. “I think it’s passed. I’m still not sure what brought it on.”

  Makayla stared at her for a long moment. “I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but is it possible that you’re pregnant?”

  Grace automatically shook her head. She didn’t want to consider that. Didn’t even want to think along those lines. “I think it’s just my emotions. Usually it’s happened when I’ve been upset and crying. I’ve just been trying to not have any sort of emotional moments here at work. Maybe that was just my body’s way of forcing them out of me anyway.”

  Makayla looked skeptical, but she didn’t push her suggestion. “If you need to go home, feel free. You don’t need to hang around here if you’re not feeling well.”

  “I think I’ll be okay.” The nausea had faded away, though she still felt a bit blah, but she figured she could stick it out for the rest of the day. Grace really didn’t want to go home and have to be alone with her thoughts.

  “Okay. Well, if that changes, let me know.”

  Once Makayla had left her alone, Grace took a few more sips of water and tried to focus on her work. When the main phone line rang a few minutes later, Grace was grateful for the distraction.

  “Good afternoon. C&M Builders. How may I direct your call?”

  “I need to speak with Bennett.” The woman’s voice was demanding. “He’s not answering his cell phone.”

  “I’m sorry, but he’s in a meeting at the moment. He asked me to take a message, or I can connect you to his voicemail.”

  There was a pause then the woman said, “Connect me to his voicemail, please. Also, tell him Ellie called, in case he doesn
’t check his messages right away.”

  “I will pass the message on to him when he’s finished with his meeting.”

  “Thank you.”

  Before Grace could respond, the line went dead. She stared at the receiver for a moment then hung it up with a shrug. Ellie’s attitude had always been a bit abrupt. Grace had no idea why, since she’d only ever been nice to the woman. But somehow, from the first time they’d met, Ellie had decided to be abrupt and distant. They’d never developed any sort of friendship. At times, Grace had wondered if the woman saw her as just an employee even though it was fairly obvious she was close to the McFadden family.

  Thankfully, that little interruption had allowed her stomach to settle completely, so she was able to focus on her work.

  “Hi, Grace. Were there any messages for me?”

  Grace glanced up at Bennett, noticing that he’d abandoned his suit coat and rolled up his sleeves, which seemed to be his default outfit when he was in the office. “Yes. Ellie called when you didn’t answer your cell.” Bennett’s brow furrowed. “I think she left a message on your voicemail, but she also wanted me to tell you she called in case you didn’t check your messages right away.”

  When Bennett sighed with a frown, Grace wondered if there was trouble in paradise. “Was that the only message?”

  “Yes. There were a couple of other calls, but they were happy to talk to your voicemail.”

  If she’d continued the close friendship they’d shared in high school, Grace might have felt comfortable asking Bennett what was up with him and Ellie. Although, quite possibly, if she’d allowed that friendship to continue, there would be no Ellie.

  Grace immediately tried to shut down those thoughts. She’d made her decision in the past based on what she felt were very valid reasons. Those reasons were even more valid today.

  “Okay. Thank you,” Bennett said before heading back to his office.