Beauty from Ashes: A Christian Romance (BlackThorpe Security Book 5) Page 19
“Good morning,” he said then lifted his mug to take a sip. He slid a little further down the counter then nodded his head toward the coffee maker. “I’m assuming you want access to that?”
Adrianne gave him a quick smile and nodded as she reached for a mug out of the cupboard. As she slid a pod of her favorite flavored coffee into the machine, she asked, “Where is everybody?”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Connor angle himself to lean his hip against the counter so he was facing her. “I have no clue where Melanie is. But after texting Rebecca, I was told that she and Alex took Jordan to the mall to buy some shoes or something that he wanted. They said they’d be back around lunch.”
Adrianne was a little disappointed that she wasn’t able to share the good news like she’d hoped. Though maybe telling Connor was a good way to start. Once her mug was filled and her coffee doctored to her taste, Adrianne glanced over at the man. He had shifted back so that he was leaning against the counter, his mug held close to his mouth though he drank nothing from it. His gaze seemed to be on the view out the window beyond the breakfast nook.
“I was kinda hoping Alex and Melanie would be around,” Adrianne said, then took a sip of her coffee, relishing the warmth as it slid down her throat.
Connor’s gaze came back to her as his brows drew together. “Is there something wrong?”
Adrianne shook her head. “Quite the opposite, in fact. I think I’ve found—no, make that, I’ve definitely found my house. I got the call from the real estate agent just a little while ago that my offer has been accepted.”
An emotion flashed across Connor’s face before he smiled. “That’s great news. I know you’ve been looking for a little while now, right?”
Adrianne put her cup down on the counter then hopped up to sit on it, crossing her ankles. She picked up her mug and took a small sip. “Yes. I’ve actually looked off and on over the past few years, but not really seriously until…”
“Until you found out you’d have to deal with me living here?” Connor asked with one arched brow.
Adrianne shrugged. “I guess I’d be lying if I said that that hadn’t played a role in my decision to look more seriously. But it was more of a catalyst, and it prompted me to do something I should have done a long time ago. So maybe it started as a way for me to not have to live in close proximity to you, but it quickly became something more.”
“I’m glad. Not that you’re moving away, but that it’s become something more for you, and that you found the house of your dreams. Is it close by?”
Before Adrianne knew it, she was sharing all the details of the house with Connor, including showing him the website where it was listed so that he could see pictures of it. It was something of a surreal moment for her. If someone had said even a month ago, that she be sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee, and sharing her good news with Connor, she would’ve told them they were nuts. Yet here they were. Acting just like friends.
Maybe friendship was the best place for them to land after everything they’d been through. It wasn’t really what her heart wanted, but it was probably all she could really handle.
But it was hard.
At one point when Connor moved closer to make himself another cup of coffee, Adrianne suddenly found herself thrown back in time. Her teenage self had imagined moments just like that in her future when she daydreamed about what it would be like if Connor felt the same way about her that she did about him. It was moments like these, sharing conversation and coffee together, that she had wanted so badly.
Of course, in her daydreams, they had been married and doing this in the kitchen of their own home, having left the bed they shared together a short time earlier.
“Are you going to get yourself a dog when you move?”
Connor’s question dragged Adrianne back to the present. As she stared at him, her sitting on the counter had brought them to eye level, she considered his question.
“I’m not sure. It doesn’t feel right to get a pet only to have them stay on their own for so much time while I’m at work.” She took a sip of her coffee. “But having a dog does sound nice.”
“I just remember you talking about how you would have a dog when you got older since your folks hadn’t allowed you to get one.”
Adrianne’s heart skipped a beat, the memory of that conversation flooding her mind. She hadn’t thought about that particular conversation in years, but to know that Connor remembered… Giving herself a mental shake, Adrianne reminded herself of all the reasons why she couldn’t think like that.
Connor’s expression revealed nothing except casual interest as he sipped from his newly filled mug of coffee.
“That’s true, but that was back before I realized how much work they were and how leaving them alone at home for long stretches might not be the best thing for them.” She swung her feet slightly as Connor moved back to his original position. “I might do better off to get a cat. I hear they don’t mind being alone.”
“I guess it all depends on the breed. There are dogs who do okay left on their own as long as they’re walked and given adequate attention when you are home.”
“Good morning, you two.”
Adrianne glanced over to see that Melanie had joined them in the kitchen. She didn’t miss the way her sister’s gaze moved between her and Connor. But aside from lifting a brow in question, Melanie didn’t say anything about finding the two of them together.
“Morning, sis,” Adrianne said. She reached up into the cupboard to grab a mug for Melanie.
“Thanks,” Melanie said as she took the mug from Adrianne. When she had her mug filling with coffee, she glanced again at Adrianne, her eyes widening as if to ask how it was that she was willingly in the same room as Connor with no one else present. “What’s got you up so early? It’s not often I’m down here after you on a Saturday morning.”
It took a second for Adrianne to remember that she had news to share, her thoughts having been so distracted by Connor. “Actually, I came downstairs to tell everyone that I am now the proud owner of a house.”
“Really?” Melanie clapped her hands in excitement. “So wait. You already own it? You placed an offer and everything?”
Adrianne nodded then looked around for her phone to show Melanie the pictures.
“Here you go,” Connor said, holding out her phone.
She’d forgotten that she’d given it to Connor earlier. Clearly, the man was messing with her mind just by simply being in the same room with her. When she took the phone from him, their fingertips brushed, but she did her best to ignore the tingling the contact left behind. After checking to make sure the picture on the screen was the first one, Adrianne handed the phone to Melanie so that she could scroll through them.
“This looks lovely, Adrianne,” Melanie said with a smile. “So this is your home?”
Adrianne nodded. “It just felt right as soon as I walked in. Hopefully, I’ll still feel the same the next time I walked through the front door.”
Connor hung around for a little bit longer, but then made his excuses and left her and Melanie alone in the kitchen.
“What was that all about?” Melanie asked when it was just the two of them.
Adrianne set her mug down on the counter and hopped off. She went over to the fridge and found a small container of yogurt. “What do you mean?”
“What do I mean?” Melanie asked, her voice rising as she repeated the question. “I mean, what were you and Connor doing together.”
“Having a conversation,” Adrianne replied as she opened the drawer in search of the spoon. She pulled the lid of the yogurt container back and dipped her spoon into it. “I just got the call from Patsy about my offer being accepted, so I came down here to share the news but the only person here was Connor.”
“So? It wasn’t that long ago where you wouldn’t have shared two words with the man, let alone news like that. What’s changed?”
Adrianne took her cup of coffee and yogur
t and went to sit in the breakfast nook, waiting for Melanie to get her own breakfast and settle down across from her before replying to her. It took her that long just to figure out exactly what to say in response to her sister’s question.
What had changed? Had it just been what he’d done for her during the attack?
“I guess I’ve just realized that he’s going to be a part of my life in one way or another for a lot of years to come.” She took a spoonful of the yogurt and a sip of her coffee. “We were friends once. Yeah, looking back now, I can see that it wasn’t a conventional friendship. We spent our time in places where people wouldn’t see us, and I know that was Connor’s doing. But at the same time, I think I got to know the real him back then. So, if we were friends once, maybe we can be friends again.”
“And you’re not afraid of feeling things for him like you did back then? It started out as friendship for you then too, before it became something more on your part. Are you going to be able to keep that from happening again?”
“I’m kind of already there.” Adrienne stirred her spoon in the yogurt container, not meeting Melanie’s gaze. “It’s kind of hard not to be when he ticks a lot of boxes on the list of what I want in a man. I know I shouldn’t feel this way given our past, but somehow my heart doesn’t really care.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt again, Adrianne. Has he shown any signs of being interested in something more than friendship?”
15
Adrianne shook her head, well aware that her heart would’ve latched onto even the slightest bit of interest if Connor had expressed any, but he hadn’t. “I’ll be okay. I’ll be smarter this time around, and not open myself up to be hurt by him like I did before. My heart might be ready for something more, but my mind is well aware that he’s the man that hurt me. However, for the sake of everyone involved, I’m going to at least try to have a friendship with him.”
Melanie frowned as she set her mug back on the table. “I really hate the idea that you have to deal with someone on a daily basis who has caused you so much hurt.”
Adrianne shrugged and took another small spoonful of her yogurt. “It doesn’t hurt quite the way it used to.” She hesitated, staring out the back window of the house. “The thing is, I almost don’t want him to be interested in me now.”
Melanie was silent for a moment then said, “Why not? I mean, aside from the fact that he hurt you, is there something more?”
Adrianne nodded. “Finding out he likes me now would sort of validate everything he said back then. He didn’t want to be with me because of the way I looked in high school, but now if he expressed interest, I’d always wonder if it was because I didn’t look that way anymore.” She tugged at a strand of hair then pushed her glasses up her nose. “It would almost make it seem like he’d been right. That no guy would ever want me as long as I looked like that.”
When Melanie didn’t respond right away, Adrianne wondered if what she’d said made her sound like a nutcase. But it was a fear that she’d had in the back of her head since Connor had shown up in her life again. Though she certainly had struggled with self-esteem over the years—and still did to some extent—she also knew that how she looked now was a definite improvement over her high school appearance. So to have the guy who had rejected her then accept her now would definitely make her question the validity of what he felt for her.
Of course, it was all a rather moot point since Connor had shown no signs of wanting to be more than friends. It was a good thing that she’d found her house, Adrianne decided. The next several weeks couldn’t go by fast enough for her.
~*~
While Connor would’ve liked to have continued to spend more time with Adrianne, he left the two girls and returned to his apartment to try to focus on some work. Try being the operative word.
All he kept seeing in his mind were the pictures of the place Adrianne had bought. He could see how excited she was to have found the home of her dreams. And he was happy for her. He’d been surprised that she was willing to share that with him, but he’d eagerly listened to her news—albeit with a slight bit of envy.
When he’d first considered retiring almost a year ago, Connor had looked at retirement as an opportunity to finally be able to date and, hopefully, settle down. He’d thought about buying a house and adopting a dog and basically having all the things that so many people his age had already acquired.
What he hadn’t counted on was having Adrianne back in his life. And it wasn’t just that she was back in his life. It was that her presence had reached down deep inside him and woken something that had gone dormant years ago. Something that Adrianne wouldn’t appreciate at all now. She’d wanted that from him back then, only he hadn’t been smart—or strong—enough to offer it to her.
As he’d looked through the photos of the place she planned to call home, Connor had felt a yearning within himself to share that with her. He could just imagine how she would make that house her home. And a part of him longed to be there helping her. Mowing the grass. Shoveling the snow. Just sharing a home with her.
How was he supposed to do any of the things he had hoped to do after retirement with anyone else when he found himself thinking thoughts like that? Though he’d known that the memory of Adrianne still lingered in his mind, he hadn’t realized just how deeply entrenched she was in his heart as well. Somehow, he needed to find a way to get over these newly resurrected feelings he had for her. He’d never be able to find a fulfilling relationship with anyone else if he didn’t.
Connor rubbed the heel of his hand over his heart. Why did that thought cause such pain within him?
He had never forgotten Adrianne over the years. He might’ve gone stretches of time where she wasn’t uppermost in his thoughts, but she was never very far away either. Whether it was a television show or a movie or even a book, things would bring her to mind at the strangest times. But it was always a bittersweet moment. Sweet because the memory usually involved a discussion they’d had. Bitter because every good memory was tainted with the way everything had ended between them.
A knock on the door drew his attention, and Connor pushed away from his desk to go answer it. Jordan stood on the porch, still wearing his thick jacket and boots.
“We brought lunch. Mom said to come over and eat.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
When Connor walked into the house a short time later, the first thing he heard were the raised voices coming from the kitchen.
“Why are we fighting about this again?” Adrianne demanded. “You knew I was planning to do this, so why are you getting upset about it all over again?”
“Yes, I knew you were planning to do this, but I didn’t think that you’d go through the process on your own. Didn’t you think it might be wise to ask Dad or me for our opinion on the property?”
“Why? Don’t you think that I’m smart enough to figure this out for myself?”
Connor rounded the corner into the kitchen to a scene reminiscent of a week ago. The only people missing were Tyler and Ryan. Rebecca and Jordan were over at the table in the breakfast nook pulling food out of a plastic bag. Adrianne and Alex were squared off in the middle of the kitchen with Melanie looking on.
“This isn’t about whether you’re smart enough or not, Adrianne,” Alex said, his exasperation clear as he spoke. “This is about me and Dad having more experience than you in something like this. Why wouldn’t you take advantage of that?”
Adrianne crossed her arms. “We’ve had this discussion already, Alex. This was something I needed to do. And don’t worry. Patsy made sure that I had an inspection done and walked me through every step of the process.”
“So if you are willing to listen to her, why didn’t you tell us about it before now?”
Connor could see the tension rising in Adrianne. He wished he had the right to step into their discussion, but he didn’t.
“You weren’t exactly receptive to the idea of me moving out to begin
with. I figured that you would throw up all kinds of roadblocks in order to prevent me from getting the place.” Adrianne squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. “And I really wanted this house.”
“I know we discussed this before, but I just wish I understood why all this is coming up now. Is it because Jordan and Rebecca have moved in? Do you feel that you don’t have a place in this home anymore?”
Connor’s gaze darted to where his sister stood. He felt torn at that moment. Torn between wanting to support Adrianne but also wanting to protect his sister. But maybe that wasn’t his job anymore. Rebecca had Alex now, and Adrianne had…no one. Even if Alex still wanted to fill that role for Adrianne, she now came in second to Rebecca. Which was how it should be since Alex was married, but it almost seemed as if he was having a more difficult time accepting that change in the relationship with his sister than Adrianne was.
“I told you already that wasn’t the case. There’s a lot going on for all of us right now, and I just feel it’s the right time for me to move out on my own. It seems that the majority of thirty-something-year-olds who aren’t married live on their own if they can afford it. I really don’t think it’s so unreasonable for me to take this step now.” Adrianne’s shoulders slumped. “I really don’t want to fight about this anymore. It’s a done deal now. I just want you to be happy for me.”
“I’m pregnant.”
From where Connor stood, he was able to see that every head in the room turned in his sister’s direction at her announcement. Alex immediately left Adrianne’s side and went to where Rebecca stood next to the table.
“Pregnant?” Alex slid one arm around Rebecca’s shoulders while resting his hand on her stomach. “Are you sure?”
There was absolute silence in the kitchen as everyone waited for Rebecca to reply. Not that there was any doubt in Connor’s mind. His sister wasn’t one to make announcements like that unless she was one hundred percent certain it was true.