Beauty from Ashes: A Christian Romance (BlackThorpe Security Book 5) Page 14
“We better do what she says, guys,” Jordan cautioned. “That’s her I’m two seconds away from losing it smile.”
Connor crossed the kitchen to grab Jordan in a headlock, rubbing his knuckles across the top of his head. “You have so much to learn about women, buddy.”
“Don’t we all, my friend. Don’t we all,” Tyler remarked drolly.
“And don’t you forget it,” Melanie said with a laugh.
Finally, some of the tension in the room began to ease, and they began to get supper on the table under Rebecca’s direction. Connor just hoped that Adrianne and Alex would work out whatever was wrong between them and come back down to join the rest of them at the supper table before too long. If for no other reason than to put his sister’s mind at ease.
11
Adrianne wasn’t surprised when she heard a knock on her door not long after she’d made her retreat from the kitchen. What did surprise her was seeing Alex standing in her doorway instead of Melanie.
“Rebecca said I needed to come talk to you. This time without an audience. And she was right.” Alex gestured to her room. “May I come in?”
Adrianne stepped back so that he could come in and then shut her door. “If you’re here to give me another lecture about all of this, you can save your breath.”
“I’m not here for that.” Alex rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “I never meant to make you feel like you couldn’t make these decisions for yourself. I just worry about you. I know that you want to get married and have a family, so I was just surprised to hear that you were going to go after a house on your own.”
“I told you the truth, Alex. I can’t continue to put my life on hold waiting for my prince charming to come along. That’s out of my control right now, but finding a house to call my own isn’t, so I want to do that. I’m not rushing into this. I’ve looked at houses, lots of them, in fact, but none of them have felt like home to me yet. That’s what I’m waiting for.” Adrianne shrugged helplessly. “Who knows. Maybe in the meantime, I’ll find the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. However, I’m not going to put my life on hold on the off-chance that might happen.”
“I understand that. I really do. And if buying a house is what you want, then I will support that and help you out however I can. I guess I just felt a little left out of something that’s obviously so important to you.”
Adrianne could hardly believe he’d really said that to her. “It’s just a house, Alex. You kept something far more important from me and from the rest of our family.”
“I know I did.” Alex shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. “I guess I never said anything because I didn’t think anyone would ever find out. And how could I have explained how spectacularly I’d failed at being a husband and a father? I was ashamed of what I’d done, and I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“You had your reasons. I understand that now. We both just have to accept that our lives are diverging a little bit right now. Rebecca and Jordan are your priority, and so they should be. I need something in my life right now to help me focus on my future. And for me, that’s a house.”
Alex took two steps toward her and reached to pull her into his arms. They stood there quietly for a couple of minutes. In her head, Adrianne knew this wasn’t a goodbye in the conventional sense, but her heart felt differently. Her brother was a husband and a father, and those two roles would usurp the one he had played in her life since the day they were born. She’d always assumed that she’d be married before Alex, and therefore wouldn’t feel the loss of his place in her life so keenly. So, in a way, it was a goodbye to the way things had been between them for their whole lives up to that point. This disagreement they’d had was really most of all about clarifying the new roles they would play in each other’s lives.
Adrianne blinked back tears as she hugged Alex. He didn’t let go of her until she relaxed her arms and stepped back. When a lone tear escaped, Alex swiped at it with his fingertips before cupping her face in his hands.
“Even with Jordan and Rebecca in my life now, you will always be important to me. If you ever need me for anything, don’t even think twice. Just call. In the same way that Connor will always be there for Rebecca, I will always be there for you. Rebecca understands that.”
Adrianne nodded and swallowed past the lump in her throat when Alex pressed a kiss to her forehead then released her. “She might not be as understanding about us ruining her dinner. You go ahead. I’ll be down in a minute.”
Alex paused a moment then headed for the door. Once it shut behind him, Adrianne took several deep breaths in order to regain control of her emotions. What neither Alex nor Melanie seemed to understand was that while it had once been the three of them there for each other, they now both had other people who were more important to them than Adrianne was. And she couldn’t help but feel that she wasn’t even as important to her parents as Alex and Melanie were now. Alex because he had given them the grandchild they wanted, and Melanie because she would give their mother the opportunity to plan a wedding before Adrianne would.
She clenched her fists and took several more deep breaths. If she was going to go back downstairs and act as if everything was normal, she couldn’t allow her thoughts to go down that road right now. There would be time for that later.
When she felt suitably composed, Adrianne went into her bathroom to make sure that she looked okay. Though she probably could’ve done with a fresh application of makeup, Adrianne figured the delay in returning downstairs would cause more concerned than any damage a single tear might’ve caused.
It was only as she walked back down the stairs that Adrianne allowed her thoughts to go to Connor and the fact that he had been witness to the whole debacle. He was no doubt thanking his lucky stars that he dodged the bullet when it came to her. Now if only she could convince herself of the same when it came to not having him in her life.
As she turned the corner into the kitchen, Adrianne caught sight again of the bouquet she’d brought home from work. It was the second week in a row that she’d received an anonymous delivery. Like the previous one, this bouquet was made up of an assortment of beautiful flowers set inside an expensive looking vase. The note this time just said, Your smile is enchanting.
The bouquet helped to ease the upheaval of her emotions. At least there was someone out there who was thinking about her. Adrianne just wished she knew who it was that had sent her the bouquets. Kelsey had also received more bouquets that week, in addition to a beautiful diamond necklace. Though Adrianne hadn’t received any jewelry, having flowers delivered to her made it a little easier to see the bouquets and jewelry that Kelsey received. Adrianne knew it wasn’t a competition, but it was kind of hard to see that kind of thing and not want it for herself.
She found everyone in the dining room and headed for her usual seat next to Melanie. Adrianne shot a quick glance at Rebecca who smiled at her as she sat down. The conversation continued on around her, no one making a big deal out of her arrival. She assumed that Alex had let them know that everything was okay now. If only she could convince herself of that.
As Adrianne sat there eating her chili and cornbread, her shoulders slumped a little. She kept her gaze on her food and didn’t engage anyone else in conversation. Right then, she felt a little bit broken. It was as if over the past few months, she’d been faced with having to watch the people around her realize her dreams. First Melanie finding love when she hadn’t even been looking for it, then Alex discovering he had a family when he never once mentioned wanting one. And if that wasn’t bad enough when she was already feeling so vulnerable, the one person who had hurt her more than any other stepped back into her life.
And though Connor hadn’t done anything now to make her feel the way he had all those years ago, his presence still brought with it memories of a time she’d tried to forget—but that had never completely left her. It was like she was slowly being worn down and emptied out. What would be left when
her dreams had been stripped away? When the feelings of inadequacy and sadness that always seemed to linger on the edges of her heart slowly filled into the places that were once inhabited by hope and anticipation?
It was as if she was having to rethink her whole life. Everything she hoped and dreamed for had not materialized. How long, she wondered, until the ache in her chest would go away? Until the feeling of being set adrift no longer plagued her every waking hour. She had a feeling that whatever was working its way through her life wasn’t done yet. What more was there left to take from her?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
Did God really care about things like her dreams of a family, a house, traveling? Weren’t there bigger issues at stake in the world than the fact that she was upset because changes were happening in her life but not the ones she wanted them to be? Adrianne had a hard time convincing herself of that fact. Or maybe thinking that way made it easier for her not to consider that God’s plans for her life might be different from what she wanted.
Adrianne set her spoon down and pressed her fingertips to the spot between her eyebrows. She could feel a headache coming on and really just wanted some peace and quiet. Maybe curl up with a new book or watch some Netflix. Anything that would keep her mind so occupied that she wouldn’t keep thinking about Alex and Connor and the way her life had hit a switch point on the track and was suddenly barreling toward a dark tunnel leading to who knew where.
Thankfully, since it was Friday night, it seemed everyone had plans for the evening. Alex and Rebecca were going to a movie while Jordan went with Connor and Ryan to the shooting range at the BlackThorpe compound. Tyler and Melanie were planning to meet up with some friends from their small group for dessert and coffee.
She breathed a sigh of relief when the last of them left and blessed quiet settled over the mansion. Melanie and Alex had both shot her concerned looks, but apparently, they hadn’t been concerned enough to set aside their plans for the evening for which she was thankful. She didn’t want their concern or their pity.
After getting herself a mug of hot chocolate, Adrianne made her way upstairs to find something to entertain herself for the next few hours. As she surfed through the movie titles in the sci-fi section of Netflix, she paused when one jumped out at her.
Galaxy Quest.
It had been one of the movies they’d talked and laughed about during a couple of their meetings. Connor had liked the movie more than she had, but she’d seen it a couple of times so was able to keep up with his references to it.
Adrianne’s hand wavered over the touch pad on her laptop for a second before she tapped it to start the movie. She really didn’t need a trip down memory lane, but it seemed she was a glutton for punishment and was going to take one, nonetheless.
~*~
Connor lowered his weapon, watching the target paper for Jordan’s lane. Considering the young man didn’t have a whole lot of experience with shooting, his accuracy was quite good. Connor was glad to see that Rebecca had agreed to allow Jordan to learn how to shoot. Since she’d been willing to take that step, Connor hoped that when he approached her once again about teaching Jordan some self-defense moves, she would be as accepting.
In the past, Rebecca hadn’t wanted Jordan to have anything to do with any type of violence. Whether it had been a refusal to allow him to take karate lessons or for him to learn to shoot a gun, her objection had always been the same. Connor figured he had to credit Alex with getting Rebecca to loosen up a little on Jordan in that regard.
As he reloaded his gun, Connor’s thoughts went to earlier in the evening, and he wondered if Adrianne knew how to shoot. He’d thought about inviting her to come along when it appeared that she had no plans for the evening, but her demeanor through the meal and afterward hadn’t invited that sort of interaction.
Though Alex had said everything was okay when he’d returned from talking with Adrianne, Connor hadn’t been convinced even after she’d come to join them at the table. There had just been something about the way Adrianne sat there, eating her food, but not participating in the conversations.
Connor was worried about her. His heart ached with the desire to protect her from whatever was causing her to withdraw. Unfortunately, that most likely meant he had to protect her from himself. He’d burned the bridge that would’ve allowed him to offer his support to her.
“Are you planning to shoot or just stand there staring at the target?”
Connor swung around to see Ryan behind him. “I was shooting. Just got distracted by something.”
“It wouldn’t happen to be Adrianne, would it?”
Connor lifted a brow, trying to figure out if it was just a lucky guess on Ryan’s part or if there was something about his behavior that gave him away. If it was the latter, he was going to need to be more careful. The last thing he wanted was for Adrianne to be even more uncomfortable around him than she already was. To that end, he kept his conversation light and tried to keep the defensiveness he felt within him from rising up and spewing out of his mouth.
“Yes, it is partly Adrianne. It’s hard not to think about what happened earlier. I’ve never known her and Alex to fight like that.”
Ryan nodded. “It was quite unusual, that’s for sure. But I have a feeling that the disagreement was just the tip of the iceberg with what’s going on with Adrianne.”
Connor considered Ryan’s words, not at all surprised that they made sense to him. After all, he knew that he had contributed to some of that iceberg. Maybe if he’d stayed away, Adrianne would’ve had one less thing to deal with in her life. Connor was filled with the desire to try and fix what had gone wrong for Adrianne, starting with erasing the effects his words had had on her. But it just wasn’t possible. How can you erase something once it’s been heard? How he wished he could substitute new words now for the harsh and hurtful ones of the past.
“You feel something for her.” Ryan didn’t phrase it as a question but more of an observation.
Connor shifted his gaze away from the man to the gun in his hand, suddenly wary of what Ryan might see if he looked into his eyes. He was discovering that Ryan was more perceptive than most people Connor knew.
When he felt confident his emotions were under control, Connor lifted his head and said, “I feel kind of bad for her. I’m sure she’s somewhat upset at Alex for not telling her that he and Rebecca had gotten married. If they had a close relationship as twins, that’s probably been upsetting for her.”
Ryan nodded again, his gaze thoughtful as he stared at Connor. “If you ever want to talk about anything, I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”
Connor thought about brushing Ryan’s offer aside. After all, he had probably close to a decade more experience in this thing called life than Ryan did. Instead, he nodded his head and thanked him for the offer. Then, because he had a weapon still fully loaded, Connor turned back toward the lane and aimed his gun at the target.
~*~
January crept by with a series of ups and downs. The downs continued to be Adrianne’s search for her home. She’d been to see lots of houses with Patsy, but none of them had been right. Each time she went to view a listing, she got her hopes up, only to have them dashed not long after walking into the house. The ups, however, included the flowers that continued to arrive for her each week.
Though most arrived on Fridays, on the last Tuesday of the month, Kelsey caught her on her way to the boardroom for their usual meeting to let her know that there had been a delivery for her. Already running a bit late, Adrianne just took the vase of flowers with her to the meeting so she could enjoy them there.
Alex and Marcus were there already with Eric. The three of them eyed the bouquet in her arms, but none of them said anything. She set the vase on a ledge by the window. It was a lovely day with lots of sun streaming in through the window, so she figured that it might be good for the flowers. She stared out the window for a moment, taking in the clear blue sky. Though it was sunny, l
ooks were deceiving in winter. The sun that shone brightly did not bring any warmth with it.
Connor showed up a few minutes later with Than and Trent not far behind. Melanie was the last to arrive and slipped into the seat next to Adrianne, giving her a quick smile before turning her attention to Alex.
“Before we move on to our normal topics, I want Trent to give us an update on some issues that we’ve been having lately.” Alex gestured toward Trent, who then looked down at his tablet before speaking.
“Though the last major attack on our system was unsuccessful, and we strengthened our security protocols even further after that event, we’ve been dealing with random attempts to access the network over the past few weeks.”
“Do you think they’re all from the same person?” Marcus asked, his furrowed brow making him look even more intense than usual.
“We haven’t been able to determine much at all about the attacks. They remind me a little bit of dive bombers. They dive in for an attack, but before you figure out what’s going on, they’re gone.”
“Have any of them managed to get past your security?” Eric asked.
Trent shook his head. “Not even close. That’s why I am not sure exactly what’s going on. There are easier ways to destroy information than playing around with it like this.”
“Couldn’t it just be people pinging the system to see if they can pinpoint a weakness?” Connor asked as he pressed the point of his pen into the pad of paper sitting in front of him. “You know, people just trying doors to see where they can get in.”
“That had crossed my mind actually,” Trent said with a nod of his head. “However, given everything we’ve been through as a company over the past several months, I am leery of disregarding anything. We will continue to monitor the attacks and will definitely alert you if something more pressing comes up, but in the meantime, you need to just be aware of what’s going on. If you receive any strange emails, don’t click on any links. I would rather be safe than sorry when it comes to dealing with a situation like this.”